When I was a child, and my father wanted to make fun of a person who couldn’t do more than one thing at a time, he would say, “They can’t walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.” As a child, I routinely took his words literally.
I expected when I saw someone walking and chewing bubble-gum to eventually find that person with bubble gum stuck all over their face or having fallen on the ground. Was I ever surprised when I would see someone walking and chewing bubble gum skillfully!
But I soon grew up and understood not to take all my father’s words literally. I came to realize that what my father wanted me to do in such situations was to avoid being a person who couldn’t see nuance, a person without the ability to think Socratically. Fortunately, my father raised me along with my mother, of course, to not merely see the world as just black and white from one inflexible group think position.
American’s Can’t Chew Bubble Gum and Walk at the Same Time
Over the last several months throughout the entirety of the Pandemic, I’ve thought about my dad several times. He passed on Mother’s Day 2018 from cardiopulmonary disease, a condition that would have made him acutely susceptible to COVID-19. I’m sad he’s gone but happy he is not suffering through a Global Pandemic.
Although he’s resting now, peacefully I hope, the things I learned from him are as active in my mind now as anytime in previous memory. One of those things streaming in my mind of late is the quote, “they can’t walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.” I’m almost sure that if my father were still alive and we could have found our way to have a civil conversation, he would have uttered those words undoubtedly hundreds of times.
Nevertheless, even without the ability to speak with my father directly, I precisely know who the “they” are to which he would have been referencing in the quote today. I’m sure my father would be laughing uncontrollably right now at America for being a nation that remains unable to walk and chew bubble gum concurrently.
Shock and Awe
Most likely, my father’s way of expressing his thoughts and ideas would have shocked and awed many of you. If you are easily offended when receiving constructive criticism, you wouldn’t have wanted to hear what my dad said about us Americans.
While the tone of his conversation and articulation of words would be raw, his words would have been no less true. I believe he would have been spot on about who we are as a collective nation today.
Out of respect for both my dad’s memory and those of you with delicate eyes and ears, I’ll share his likely explanation this way. If the last few months have informed the world about just one thing about Americans, it is that Americans do not appreciate nuance.
With increasing clarity each day, it is unmistakable that Americans lack the aptitude for Socratic thinking. Everything with us is an ‘either’ and an ‘or,’ one or the other, a ‘black’ or a ‘white,’ a ‘right,’ or an ‘infringement.’
We are proving to be a nation of Simpletons. Three hundred and thirty million dummies, unwilling to reconcile that individual liberty and civic responsibility exist to be mutually inclusive. Halfwits are we so concerned and obsessed over personal freedom that we are willing to watch as other Americans die (135,000 and counting) because we have no understanding or appreciation for national responsibility.
Like my father first explained when I was a child, “we, Americans, can’t walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.”
Personal Liberty vs. National Responsibility
Unfortunately, today’s challenge is a bit more urgent than mastering walking and chewing bubble gum simultaneously. Right now, Americans must find a way to stop the spread of COVID-19.
Regrettably, we can’t win the battle against a virus because we can’t join the forces of personal liberty and national responsibility. We can’t stop watching as our fellow Americans get sick and die because we don’t appreciate nuance, we refuse to think critically.
Too many of us are so blinded by personal liberty that we can’t conceive of a justifiable reason nor a way to do what’s right personally and good collectively at the same time. So much for that old Declaration of self-evident truths that equal are all people created, endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Americans these days seem to have little interest in upholding declarations for other Americans and far more interest in personal privileges like drinking from a full glass in a crowded room that leads to both intoxication and infection. So drunk in moments of stupidity and contaminated with individual liberty are we that we can only see value in doing whatever we individually want to do whenever and wherever we want to do it no matter who else might suffer.
Father Knows Best
These days Americans seem less concerned about the foundational national commitment to granting our fellow Americans access to liberty or a chance to pursue happiness. Hell, right now, it appears many of us don’t give a damn if any institution continues to stand, nor if anybody other than us stays alive.
To which, I can hear my father laughing sarcastically now. “I told you, Americans,” he might say, “we are incapable of walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time.”
Are you raising children to believe personal liberty trumps national responsibility? Can you give examples of how you model that individual freedom and the greater good are mutually inclusive? If your life depended on it, could you prove that you can chew bubble-gum and walk at the same time?