Let me get this out of the way. This post is not for the parents who are faint of heart. It’s also not for moms and dads who are averse to hearing or, in this case, reading the truth. If you are allergic to strong language or having a mirror placed in front of your face, you might want to stop reading right now.
Because what I must share today comes with an explicit parental warning. Not words of caution like PG as in the film’s rating disclosure. Nope, what I plan to say today has nothing to do with whether it is okay for a child under seventeen to watch a movie.
Instead, today’s parental guidance is an offer of parenting advice for all the complaining mothers and fathers. If you are a whining parent sharing commonality with those moaning and groaning celebrity parents like Justin Timberlake, Shonda Rhimes, Kevin Frazier, and Kim Kardashian who think the world must know about the struggles of being with your children and having to teach your children, this post is mainly for and mostly about you.
Will the Real Moms and Dads Please Stand Up?
I wish I could express myself using the language best suited for moments like this, but I cannot. My mother reads this blog faithfully (that is after she watches hour after hour of Steve Harvey, which is something else, I could rant about, but I’ll save that rant for another time). In any event, I know if I wrote what I truly wanted to write, my mom would call me immediately mortified by reading that her firstborn published a profanity-laced tirade.
So, I will take a Bad Boys kind of a deep breath, saying a few woosahs. That way, I’ll be able to keep the post mostly PG and avoid getting in trouble with my mom. Then I will find a way to say what I want to convey without excessive vulgarity. Hopefully, I can express myself more delicately without you, the reader, needing an Urban Dictionary translation.
Here goes! Look here, you whining all the time, in particular, wealthy and privileged out of touch with reality so-called parents. I do not want to hear another word out of you. It’s time to hear from the real moms and dads. Now is the time for the real moms and dads who parent honorably without moaning and groaning to please stand up.
We are Talking About Homeschooling, Right?
Hey, whining and complaining moms and dads, your fifteen minutes of parenting fame is over. For the duration of the Coronavirus Pandemic, I want you to add a new phrase to the long list of short CDC type instructions. Please include immediately in your daily lexicon of Coronavirus expressions such as “Stay Home,” “Sanitize,” “Wash Your Hands,” and “Don’t Touch Your Face” one more phrase “Shut the F-up About How Hard It is to Parent.”
We, well, I will speak for myself as not to implicate others. I don’t want to hear one more single word from any parent about the challenges of spending time with and homeschooling your children.
Nobody, I do mean nobody feels sorry for you because you have to be your child’s teacher. If anything, we feel sorry for children raised by insensitive and clueless moms and dads, parents who fail to understand the requirements of everyone claiming the title parent.
FYI, in the United States, more than 2 million children are homeschooled annually. Moreover, tens of millions of children have moms and dads who parent for ‘real’ while forced to work despicable low and underpaying jobs and do so without complaining. Many of those parents who do double duty as a parent and marginalized worker are on the front line of this Pandemic and have admirably exempted themselves from moaning and groaning.
Thus the behavior of any whining parent is disgraceful. Whining moms and dad try doing like the front line workers you profess to respect. Just do your most important job; be a parent. Do it well, perhaps honorably for the first time, and then please shut the F’ up!
Use The Time Wisely
Why don’t you embrace this as an opportunity actually to get to know your children? How about you use this time to laugh with, play with, talk to, and educate your children. You know, consider getting reintroduced and better acquainted with those little people living in your home.
Think of it this way. Those people you are whining about are your children after all, and if you don’t want them in your home forever, you might want to use this time to evaluate how good you have raised them thus far. If you don’t want your future caregivers to ignore you and share with the world what a pain in the ass you are when you are old, it might be best if you gave them your full and undivided attention to prove on their terms that you care for them now while you still have time.
Oh, and please stop pretending like you don’t remember how children arrive on the planet. In case you need a refresher course, I’ll just say it was all the volitional X-rated activity you happily engaged in that brought your offsprings to life.
So now accept the consequences of your X-rated actions the way real moms and dads demand of their children and raise your children without whining. Be the teacher your children need sans complaining. Educate those little people you chose to spawn without crying, doing so with the same vigor and energy you used to produce them.
And one more thing, vow to be both parent and teacher making the promise that we will never read or hear another lamenting childrearing peep from you again. Not a word, zip, zilch, nada. Nothing. Keep your big whining mouth shut.
Front Line Parents
In the coming days, should you feel overwhelmed by the creature comforts of wealth and privilege and think the walls of your gated community are closing in on you, consider the front line parents who do not whine about being with their children. Remember, the front line parents who do not run to the media and social media to complain about being both parent and teacher.
They are not tweeting and sharing with the media how difficult it is to spend time alone with their children. Front line parents aren’t whining publicly about their real challenges, like helping their children learn while simultaneously delivering our groceries and meals or providing our healthcare services. They are just parenting privately. They are not whining publicly.
So, please take note of what they are doing. Perhaps you can mimic regular ordinary old American moms and dads and merely embrace the privilege of being a parent.
Give it a try. You might find parenting, silently, and purposely going about each day doing the thing real moms and dads do without moans or groans refreshing. Try parenting, just parenting—nothing more, nothing less.
Only A Few Truly Are
Rather than whine because you aren’t able to continue outsourcing your children’s educational future to someone else so that you might concentrate on your career do like the rest of us, real moms and dads. Put in the work.
Do what is necessary all by yourself. Put your children’s future first. Instead of sounding like you rue the decision to have children, make the most of the Supreme Court ruling that parents have a fundamental right to direct the education of our children.
How about you use your celebrity and influence to play the role of moms and dads who genuinely appreciate the meaning of the word parent. Show those of us who raise children without wealth and privilege that you understand the Supreme Court ruling – the right to direct the education of your children – as something other than one more opportunity to scandalize the college admission process.
The Word is Parent
According to Merriam Webster, a parent is a person who brings up and cares for another. I think you will note that nowhere in Merriam Webster’s definition or any similar reference is “parent” defined as a person who whines when they have to bring up and care for their child. I suspect that if Noah Webster and George and Charles Merriam were alive today, they would concur with me that the individual requirements and personal responsibilities of a parent increase not dwindle during times of crisis.
So let me ask. Who else do you believe should comfort our children mentally and emotionally during a Global Pandemic but their parents? Who else do you think should be intimately involved in the day to day ongoings of our children when there is a Shelter in Place order but their parents? Who else should exceedingly welcome the opportunity to rise to the occasion when schools close to become what society so often proclaims we already are – the child’s first teacher – but your children’s parents?
The word is parent. Time to stand up and be one for real.
Stop Whining
Whining parents, how about you spend whatever time remains living through this Coronavirus Pandemic the very way you ordinarily approach your child’s education with one small twist. How about you allocate the same amount of time and energy used – manipulating college admission standards, influencing school class ranking, making sure your child gets an undeserved reward, dictating school board policy, and forcing continued school segregation – to do what most of us do joyfully without wealth or privilege – parent.
How about from this point forward until schools reopen, whining parents, you just homeschool your children silently. Stop crying and complaining to the media about how hard it is to parent. Stop moaning and groaning in social media about how difficult it is to be your child’s teacher.
Be a F’ing parent like the rest of us. Please, for god sake, teach your children, be an actual parent, and shut the F’up!
Have you been whining about spending time with your children? Are you aware that those you bemoan today will be your caregivers and first-responders tomorrow? Would you like to know how to stop whining and improve your homeschooling proficiency?