Up Daddy, Daddy Up!

“Up Daddy, Daddy up!” It seems only a short while ago when I heard that expression daily. When Naeem was a toddler, and an obstruction to his vision existed, he would exclaim emphatically, “Up Daddy, Daddy up!”

“Up Daddy, Daddy up” meant that he wanted me to pick him up. “Up Daddy, Daddy up” was my little prince’s instruction informing me that I was to place him on my shoulder so that he could see above the barriers. Naeem’s desire, as is the case for all children, was to see the world without the impediments – to be gifted the opportunity to imagine a world beyond routine hindrances.

Vacation Rewind

During the summer of 1998, we received a promotional VHS from Universal Studios Florida. Naeem watched the VHS promotional tape no less than a hundred times. Thus, if you guessed this is a story about a vacation to Orlando, Florida, you would be partially correct.

Given the number of times, he watched the VHS, you could imagine that we had no other option than to take him to Orlando. So for the remainder of the summer and fall (and this is not an exaggeration), we saved our pennies in hopes that we could give Naeem a family holiday trip to remember.

Speaking of memory, I remember arriving at the hotel and feeling proud that we were doing something with our son, something that neither LaTonya or I experienced growing up. We traveled by plane and were staying in a hotel for a family vacation.

I won’t bother to tell you the name of the hotel. Let’s just say that I wouldn’t stay there today, I’m bougie now (not really). But in 1998, it was the best we could do. At that time, the unnamed hotel was better than any hotel the three of us had stayed in together.

Two Amazing Theme Parks

As we walked with the crowd to and throughout the park for the first time, I can remember feeling melancholy. People were rude, walking through the gate. The weather was unseasonably cold; it rained continuously.

Everything in the park was more expensive than I expected. We only had enough money for the basics, which meant we ate practically all of our meals outside of the park. Despite saving our pennies and making the journey to Florida, the trip felt unimpressive.

Mostly, I felt as though Naeem’s travel agents, his mom, and dad afforded him something less than what he deserved. I believed we had given him a substandard experience. If there had been a caption over my head, it would have read, “Nate, you are a colossal failure.” In my mind, I let my son down.

Up Daddy, Daddy Up

Although it was more than twenty years ago, I can still remember that vacation clearly and the exact moment when, as we were walking throughout the park, Naeem, who was holding my hand, said: “up Daddy, Daddy up.” Until he spoke those words, I was like most parents present in body but not in mind; I was going through the motion.

It wasn’t until he said “up Daddy, Daddy up” that I remembered why I was at Universal Studios Florida. I wasn’t there for me; I was there for my beloved son. He deserved for me to be present and accounted for not missing in action mentally and emotionally.

Following his royal instructions, I picked him up and placed him on my shoulders. He whimsically played bongos on my head. I don’t know what the song he was humming, but he was unquestionably happy. His little legs and feet swung furiously back and forth against my shoulders and chest. He was having the time of his life.

A New Perspective

“Daddy, I see the Spiderman ride.” “Daddy, I see the Hulk rollercoaster.” “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” he uttered repeatedly.

Naeem’s enthusiasm energized me. We walked all over the park, and except for getting down to get on a ride, he stayed on my shoulders. After each ride, he would return to my shoulders and excitedly announce all the new things that he saw.

That day, during what turned out to be our first of many trips to Universal Studios Florida, I learned that when you pick your child up to provide them an unobstructed view, your children will give you a new, enhanced perspective. Not only did Naeem describe in sportscaster play by play fashion what was going on, he reminded me what it meant to live every moment with the joy of a child.

The Father of a King

For the rest of the vacation, no longer down and out by what I didn’t have, I felt only joy and happiness. I may have carried Naeem around on my shoulders the entire trip, but in reality, it was Naeem who picked me up and has continued to do so for his whole life. The guy who felt like a pauper carried a child on his shoulders who saw the world as a king.

During that trip, Naeem infected me with his upbeat, hopeful perspective – a view I hope neither of us ever lose. A toddler with no intentions to do so taught his father an invaluable life lesson that when you pick your child up, your child will help you see the world with a new perspective. When you lift your child up, your child will pick you up.

Up Daddy was the instruction for me to pick my child up. Daddy up was the instruction for me to keep my head up so that I might see with childlike enthusiasm, hope, and possibility.

Same Old, Same Old

Although Naeem no longer expects me to pick him up physically, my obligation to pick him up remains. These days when he needs me, I do my part to pick him up mentally and emotionally. And he continues to do for me what he has always done. He helps me see the world with a new perspective – my future full of hope and possibility.

Today he continues to challenge me as he did when he demanded that I carry his extra thirty plus pounds on my shoulder. He expects me to bear whatever weight the world loads on me so that he has a chance to see the world from a different vantage point and so that together we might share the promising world he sees on the horizon.

Words to Live By

When you get a chance, pick your child up. I don’t care what age they are. It doesn’t matter how established your child might appear to the world; a parent’s job never ends. Parents must always pick up our children.

If, for some strange reason, you need something more than knowing that picking up your child is the right thing to do, never forget that when you pick your child up, you get the opportunity to see the world from another perspective.

It is the vision of a child that not only makes walking around an amusement park enjoyable, but it is a childlike vision that makes this thing we call life incredible. Picking up your child will lift you up too!

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Did you pick your child up today? Do you ever see the world from a child’s viewpoint? Are you looking at your life from only one perspective?