This weekend family and friends celebrated the life of my aunt, Marie Ursery. As is the case with any memorial service the time spent remembering a person who passed is bittersweet. This Mother’s Day weekend was exceptionally melancholy as it was one year ago when my father passed.
I realize that death is part of the great Circle of Life. Trust me The Lion King is my favorite movie. However, I’ve got to tell you; I’m tired of declining health, the process of dying, and the finality of death. These days the great Circle of Life feels a lot less like the infinity loop of connected human existence and more like a straight line continuous march towards the extinction separating me from family and friends whom I care for and love.
THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD
Notwithstanding the emotion toll death has on the living, I found my aunt’s memorial service inspiring. As person after person marched to the microphone to share a personal narrative about time spent with Aunt Marie, I couldn’t help but reflect on the most important word in human history. If you’ve been reading this blog or ever heard me speak, you already know the word I’m referencing. The word is “Who.”
“Who” is the most important word ever spoken and on Saturday, I realized just how fortunate I was to have known someone that wittingly lived her “Who.” Each person that I talked to directly or listened to while sitting in the pew expressed in their way that Aunt Marie purposely lived and intuitively measured her life by who: whom she helped, whom she served, and who knew their life mattered because of an interaction with her. Aunt Marie was a model of how to live your “who.”
SATURDAY MORNING
Saturday morning for some strange reason as I reluctantly prepared myself to join family and friends at the memorial service I started singing an early 1970s Saturday morning cartoon song. The melody goes like this: “The most important person in the whole wide world is you, and you hardly even know you. You’re the most important person!“ The song has additional lyrics but I trust the meaning and intent of the song is clear. The song attempted to help 1970s school-age children feel good about themselves.
Upon hearing many of Aunt Marie’s former colleagues talk about her, my early morning recollection of the 1970s Saturday morning cartoon song made sense. Aunt Marie was an educator who also helped children feel good about themselves.
Fortunately, she didn’t model for children a narcissistic approach to life – asserting that she was the most important person in the whole wide world. Instead, she expressed by word and deed that helping, serving, and showing others that they mattered was the most important thing to do in the whole wide world.
BE LIKE AUNT MARIE
As a parent, we routinely look for public figures and celebrities to model for our children ways to be the best version of themselves. Thankfully, Aunt Marie left her family and friends a blueprint to follow – live your “who” daily.
In tribute to Aunt Marie, I’d like to encourage you to live purposely and quantifiably measure your “who” every day. From this day forward, begin and end your day asking and answering these three questions:
Who will (did) I help today?
Who will (did) I serve today?
Who will know (knew) their life mattered because of an interaction with me today?
Knowing and living our “who” won’t change the great Circle of Life or make death and dying more palatable but it can enrich the finite time we share the planet with others. So before our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass, let’s live our “who.”
Whom will (did) you help today? Whom will (did) you serve today? Who will know (knew) their life mattered because of an interaction with you today?
[…] typically seeks to achieve an aim such as making sure each day at a minimum you help, serve and make sure those you profess to love know that they matter. Paraphrasing Mr. Wonder, love is urgent; it doesn’t count on later – “Don’t delay. […]