Anyone who has been following this blog knows that my primary motivation for everything I believe and do around parental empowerment and student success originates from the love I have for my son. Naeem means more to me than I will ever be able to explain. He is everything to me.
SEPARATE AND UNEQUAL
As I watched my son’s life progress, it’s been painstakingly clear that not enough children have equal opportunities as him. Thanks to two of Naeem’s big bold, audacious dreams – to graduate from high school early and pursue professional soccer opportunities abroad – not only have I seen the way adults care for and educate children all over this country, but I’ve witnessed parents internationally as well.
And as Naeem’s trusted traveling sidekick, I can assure you that we aren’t doing nearly enough for “our children” anywhere on this planet.
OUR CHILDREN
When I state “our children,” I’m not referencing those children with our DNA. Instead, the words “our children” alludes to the masses of children who are this planet’s future – the earth’s best hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Given the politically charged and tragic way this Nation has recently chosen to treat immigrant children, it should be evident that limiting the definition of “our children” to those who share our DNA is too small and inhumane. Not to mention, the national trend of embracing children as ours solely due to racial makeup, socio-economic standing, or national origin turns us all into bigots. Thus, when I say “our children,” I trust that it’s also now clear that I’m not referring to children the way the US designs school districts – by wealth and privilege or the lack of both.
Rather, when I speak of “our children,” I’m talking about the billions of underserved and disregarded sons and daughters on this planet. I’m talking about the fact that you and I have not provided enough children even our own with a productive and intentional village of residents who will not rest until every child succeeds – a collection of people who will give their very last breathe to assure that no child is left behind.
WHERE IS THE LOVE?
In the Valentine’s Day spirit of love and on behalf of children everywhere particularly those who have not yet learned how to advocate for themselves and for the benefit of parents who feel disempowered, I’m challenging you to do the following three things:
1. P.M.O. – Share with other parents your Parental Marching Orders. As it is with the military, great parents follow a set of uncompromising directives such as “I’ll never go to bed mad at my child,” I’ll tell and show my child that I love them ceaselessly,” and “I’ll never allow my child to believe anything is impossible.”
If you haven’t thought about your P.M.O.s, do so now. If you haven’t written your P.M.O.s already take a few moments to jot down three to five.
Please share your P.M.O.s with your children, spouse, partner, family, and friends. Ask everyone you know to keep you accountable so that you can model what it looks like when a parent never stops marching in the direction that makes it possible for a child to live their best life.
2. Eat an Elephant – There is an African Proverb, ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!”. A similar axiom about children could be – “how do you love a child, one caring act at a time.’
Write on a whiteboard, place on the refrigerator notepad, or record on your electronic calendar a loving action that you intend to employ as an outward expression of the love you have for your child. For thirty consecutive days, find a way to demonstratable show your child just how much they mean to you and encourage other parents to do the same. (Note: Telling your child that you paid the mortgage, feed them, or put clothes on their back doesn’t count.)
Do something special! Do Something intentional! Write your child a letter, hug them extra-long, or yell “I love you” as loud as you can when in public. You don’t have to spend any money simply do something out of the ordinary that says “I love you.”)
3. It’s Later Than You Think – Have you affirmed what type of human being you want your children to be? Have you declared how you want your child to experience life? What are you waiting for? It’s later than you think. Take it from me; children grow up very fast, and we are all running out of time!
Speaking of life’s brevity, start a journal specifically about your child. Let your first entry be five words that describe the type of adult you want your child to be. Build on those five words, over the next thirty days each time you record a journal entry.
In the event you need help getting started, I’ll share six words I’ve maintained about the kind of human I’ve wanted Naeem to become: astute, polyglot, benevolent, tenacious, majestic, and self-sufficient.
In the unlikely event, you remain unmoved about the value of affirmations consider what happened when immigrant parents trusted I.C.E. to affirm the value of their children. Upon reflection of the I.C.E. situation, I imagine you will agree that children need people who genuinely love their children to make sure the humanity of all children is authentically and purposefully affirmed.
FINAL WORDS
Billions of children want and deserve a better life than the one they are currently living and the one they are projected to live. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that many of the statistical anomalies – children whom society considers the cream of the crop, children who appear to have everything going for themselves – must be included in the billions of “”our children” who need us to care more about them.
Contrary to popular belief, our “exceptional children” don’t want to be statistical anomalies – they don’t want to continue calculating those in the room and perpetually having to note that they are in it alone. All of this exclusivity has left many of our best and brightest children lonely and depressed. To the surprise of many parents, “our exceptional children” struggle but theirs is an external fight to prove to the masses that they belong and an internal tussle to carry the weighty hopes and dreams of entire communities.
We’ve put “our children” in unenviable situations. It’s time we, the adults, changed our thinking and behavior towards children so that “our children” have an opportunity to fulfill their unlimited potential. All “our children” not only mine or yours deserve better of us.
What are you doing to improve the academic and socio-economic outcomes for children who are not your own? When was the last time you showed “our children” that they matter?