Illustration depicting a roadsign with a gap year concept. White background.

As the end of another school year approaches, all over the country parents and graduating high school seniors are having discussions from calm to passionate about what comes next. Some students know exactly what they want to do next while others are not so sure.

This dilemma is not exclusive to those students whose high school transcripts and test scores tell a story of limited opportunities and minimal options. Even among students who are actually prepared for the academic rigors of college there is often indecision. The wavering should be expected. Graduating from high school and being asked to decide what to do with the rest of your life – particularly when you have so few life experiences to draw from – is not only frightening it’s ridiculously unfair.

THREE CHOICES

Prior to the end of my sophomore year in high school, my father had the talk with me. No, we didn’t talk about the birds and the bees. Nor did we have the talk African American parents are having with their children today about the police. Thank heavens, we had those conversations long before my sophomore year in high school. Rather, my father and I had the talk – the talk about my options.

I remember the conversation like it happened yesterday. While standing in the kitchen, my dad said these words to me “you know in two years you have to do something”. I looked at my father quizzically, wondering what in the world he was talking about this time. You see my father had a habit of starting conversations out of thin air.

“No dad”, I said, “what do I have to do?” With an unsympathetic look and a resolve in his voice, my father spoke these words, “you have to get a job and move, join the service and move, or go to college”. I stood silently which was odd for me because like most teenagers it was my custom to have a retort for everything. However, on this occasion, I could not speak. At that moment, my life flashed before me and it was desperately bleak.

STARING INTO THE ABYSS

Soon after informing me of my three choices, my father left the kitchen. I continued to stand while staring into the abyss. None of the three choices felt right.

The first choice was identical. I had a job already. In fact, I had been working since fifth grade and I realized right around the sixth grade that working all day everyday was overrated. The additional requirement of moving away from my mom was cruel and unusual punishment.

The second choice was inconceivable. My father had served during the 1960s and spoke critically about the racial conditions in the military. Based on my father’s disposition and the fact that I grew up in segregated Gary, Indiana the idea of living some place where I would be a marginalized minority and have to take orders from people like my father was unimaginable.

The third choice seemed unlikely. I was a borderline average to poor student. My transcript from the first two years of high school were littered with “Cs”. Although, I didn’t know much about the college admission process back then I knew enough to know that I wasn’t “college material”.

MAKE THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION

Most of you know my story. I was able to earn a few vowels to go along with all those consonants and managed to get admitted to college. What you may not know is that going to college was not my dream scenario it was simply my way of making the best out of a bad situation. As a seventeen year old, who had lived in one city his entire life and had only once boarded a plane (from Chicago to St. Louis), I could not imagine a life more than the one I was living.

Proof of my lack of vision played out in my college choices. All of the colleges where I applied were chosen based on the experiences and visions of others. I applied to Purdue University because all the smart kids in my school were applying there. I applied to Fisk University because the most accomplished man that I knew personally was an alum. I applied to Butler University because my uncle lived in Indianapolis and my mom said that he could drive me home on weekends.

If my naivety and lack of preparation to make the most important decision in my life were not obvious enough, the process for selecting a major makes it clearer. In large part, I chose accounting as a major because my mom, who worked for a mental health institution, was employed as an Accounts Receivable Clerk. I also chose accounting as a major because I assumed accounting was mostly math. Boy was I ever wrong.

Talk about dazed and confused. Being given only three choices – all of which seemed to seal my fate – left me mentally exhausted and emotionally fatigued. Actually, I could have been a patient at my mom’s place of employment. At the very least, I sure could have used some professional counseling; perhaps a life coach.

In hindsight there are probably at least a thousand other things I should have considered before deciding to major in accounting or where to go to college. I liked math but I didn’t love math. I had no clue what it meant to be an accounting major or what it meant to work as an accountant. Nor did I know that by attending Butler I would instantaneously become a marginalized minority who would experience many of the same racial inequities I thought I would avoid by not enlisting in the military.

TAKE A GAP YEAR

Unfortunately for me there were only three choices: move out, take orders from another drill sergeant or go to college. If I knew what I know now chances are that I would have chosen something other than Butler University, accounting and occasional rides home on weekends with my uncle.

Today, I would have most likely done what my son did – take a gap year. According to the American Gap Association, “A gap year is a structured period of time when students take a break from formal education to increase self-awareness, challenge comfort zones, and experiment with possible careers.”

Many of our best and most respected colleges and universities encourage students to take a gap year. For example, Harvard “encourages admitted students to defer enrollment for one year to travel, pursue a special project or activity, work, or spend time in another meaningful way…”

A GAP YEAR MAKES SENSE

If you are on the precipitous of having the talk with your child – alerting them of their three options –you might want to give them a fourth option. If my story isn’t a compelling enough reason to consider a gap year give some thought to the following:

• Better Performance – Studies show that students who take a gap year generally perform better than their peers who go directly from high school to college. Academic Burnout is real. Per the Council of the Great City Schools, students take an average of 113 standardized tests between pre-K and 12th grade. I don’t know about you but I need a gap year just thinking about all those tests.

• Leaving Never Never Land – Americans work more than any other industrialized nation. The average person spends 90,000 hours at work over their lifetime, takes only 57 percent of their vacation days and when taking a vacation 25 percent of workers respond to work related phone calls and emails. With all the hours Americans work, when exactly are children supposed to have time for self-discovery and personal enrichment?

• Dying to Work – A 2013 study conducted by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) reports that the U.S ranks 26^th in life expectancy which is also one year behind the international average. Not only are we dying early but we are working jobs that the majority of us hate. According to the 2013 Conference Board Job Satisfaction survey, only 47.7 percent of workers are satisfied with their jobs. Given the fact that it appears our children are going to die sooner than later and while they are living they are going to work at jobs they hate, shouldn’t we give a gap year some real consideration?

NO CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT

It is not my intent to tell you that you should allow your child to take a gap year. The educational and career path you and your child select is a personal decision that should be made with great reflection. I simply wanted to make you aware of an option my father never presented to me.

Adulthood and the accompanying adult responsibilities last a lifetime. Childhood, on the other hand, lasts a mere eighteen years if you are lucky. So rather than rush into a decision that might impact the rest of your child’s life, a gap year might be a perfect transition between childhood and adulthood; indecision and certainty; and time and money wasted and time and money well spent.

How much would you enjoy a gap year from adulthood? What do you think of the gap year concept?