It’s Time To Develop Your Parental Involvement Policy
The other afternoon, I received an email from a service provider that was the impetus for this post. Enclosed in the email was an important but inconspicuous statement.
The statement that I received was the same statement that we all get but are reluctant to read. It’s the statement that is included with practically every contractual agreement we sign from credit cards, hotel registrations to health club memberships.
It’s the statement that is usually written in teeny weeny small print. It’s the text on the company website that we routinely irresponsibly check “ACCEPT” without having any real clue about that which we have consented.
THE POLICY STATEMENT
The “Policy Statement” is the aforementioned document. The “Policy Statement” details the rights and responsibilities of both the provider and the user. The “Policy Statement” prescribes what are acceptable and unacceptable actions and behaviors.
The “Policy Statement” reminds us who is responsible for the charges on our credit card. The “Policy Statement” warns us about excessive noise while staying in the hotel. The “Policy Statement” advises us to see a physician before beginning an exercise program. Essentially, the “Policy Statement” is the instructional document detailing how things will be done.
After taking a moment to actually read the “Policy Statement” – aided of course by a large cup of highly caffeinated green tea and baroque music (more on that at on another time) – I realized that families could benefit by having a “Policy Statement”.
PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT POLICY
Rather than call the family document a “policy statement”, I would term it the “Parental Involvement Policy”. Although, I wouldn’t expect it to be as exhaustive as a “Policy Statement”, I would recommend that the “Parental Policy Statement” cover at a minimum four essential areas.
I. Participation – All parents should be committed to having a positive and actively engaged role in the mental, physical and spiritual well-being of your child. No more deadbeat dads nor dadbeat moms for that matter.
The responsibility of all parents is that they are present, accounted for and accountable at all times. It takes two parents to create a child, thus there should be no less than two active parents sharing equally in the positive growth and constructive development of the child.
II. Compassion – The world can be cruel and merciless. For many children, the coldness and callousness of the world is exacerbated by insensitive parents.
All children – regardless of their socioeconomic standing, gender, race, physical makeup or other demographics – need parents who will extend mercy during shortcomings, offer tenderness during times of condemnation and provide affection for no reason other than it is the right thing to do. In the melodious words of Dionne Warwick, children like everyone else in the world need love sweet love.
III. Enthusiasm – Few things are ever accomplished when passion is absent or lacking. Oprah Winfrey has been quoted as saying “Passion is energy…” It is doubtful that Ms. Winfrey was referencing parenting yet her words are applicable.
Children are empowered to dream of the impossible, children are inspired to exert greater effort, and children are energized to change the world when they have parents who have an undeniable, unquenchable zeal for them. Give your children the fuel that will propel them to the highest highs and enable them to escape the lowest lows. Every day in every way, parent with passion!
IV. Independence – For some misguided reason, the truest measure of successful parenting is foolishly equated with children leaving the home. Whether it’s going to college, moving into an apartment or buying their first home children have been lead to believe that any one of these experiences signifies independence. However, the parent who believes their primary role is to usher a child out of the home – as soon as possible or at some contrived predesignated age – misses the mark badly.
Instead, it is paramount that parent’s acknowledge that the aim of raising independent children must always be to raise children who are emotionally poised, intellectually competent and socially conscious. The fate of the universe depends on the ability of parent’s to raise children who have mastered independence and not simply arrived at the end of a chronological period.
EVERYONE SHOULD DO IT
Not reading the fine print of a “Policy Statement” is bad but failing to define what is acceptable and unacceptable for your children is unforgivable. Every parent should have a Parental Involvement Policy. A Parental Involvement Policy is a parent’s opportunity to let the world know that you accept and embrace parenting head-on.
Leave no doubt with your children, their teachers, coaches, community liaisons or others that you understand fully your rights and responsibilities as a parent. When others know you have high standards they will be more inclined to strive to match your efforts and reach your expectations. When your principles are clear and present, you give your child a fighting chance to reach their full potential.
It’s a New Year have you prepared your Parental Involvement Policy? When was the last time you accepted an agreement without reading the “Policy Statement”?