Please Parents, Show Your Child How To Get On The Plane

This past weekend, I spent it in Buffalo. Yeah, I know Buffalo. Buffalo’s not the tropical destination that I so often wax poetically about but Buffalo is the home of my great childhood friend and my son’s Godfather.

Fear not, this is not the 21st century remake of Grumpy Old Men. Nor will I bore you with the weekend escapade of two middle age men.

Did I just admit to being grumpy? Did I just admit to being middle age? I really am getting old.

I HAVE A FLIGHT TO CATCH

This morning, I just barely caught my flight. Last night, before going to bed, Willie and I planned out how things were going to go in the morning. I wanted to make certain that I wouldn’t have a problem catching my flight.

First thing, the “two grumpy almost old men” were both going to go to bed earlier than we had the three previous nights. He needed his beauty rest and me well check me out below. How could I possibly get any more beautiful?

Please Parents, Show Your Child How To Get On The Plane

All jokes aside, he retired to his room and I went to the guest room. I set my Timely Alarm Clock on my phone and tablet for 5:15 am. I packed everything but my clothes, deodorant, toothpaste and toothbrush for the morning. I rechecked my flight itinerary to make sure everything was as it was supposed to be.

It was 11:45 pm and I was prepared for bed. The schedule was set – in 5 ½ hours, I would get up and in 6 hours I would be going through the TSA screening.

MY SO CALLED BEST LAID PLANS

I awoke at 5:15 am as planned. Check. I was in and out the shower by 5:20 am. Check, check. At 5:26 am, I was dressed. Check, check, check minus. Check minus because the plan was to be dressed by 5:25 am. I was only one minute behind – not a big deal if I arrived at TSA at 5:46 am instead of 5:45 am.

Now ready to depart, I walked into the living room expecting to find Willie dressed and ready to go. I didn’t see him, it was pitch dark. I turned on the light and there he was asleep on the couch. We both were startled. He mumbled something, proceeded to get off the couch and went into the bathroom.

Houston or more accurately, Buffalo we have a problem. The plan was to leave the house at 5:30 am so that I would arrive at the airport by 5:45 am. It was 5:46 am when he came out the bathroom. I was starting to get concerned. In a word my plan was shot.

BUFFALO WINGLESS

Trying to remain optimistic, I held out hope that if we hurried we could still arrive right around 6 am. Willie said “don’t worry traffic will be light and it’s an early flight so the TSA lines should be short”. After driving for about 5 minutes, Willie stopped the car in the middle of the road and said “what am I thinking, I’m going the wrong way“.

As he turned the car around, I thought “Oh no!” Instead of being 5 minutes closer to the airport, we were 10 minutes further away. At 6:10 am we finally arrived. I grabbed my luggage from the trunk, said my farewells and ran inside.

Once inside, I realized that he had dropped me off at the wrong entrance. I was in front of Southwest but I was flying Delta. Delta was more than 100 yards away. I ran to Delta to get my boarding pass. Murphy’s Law appeared to be in effect this morning, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”.

With my Delta app malfunctioning, I had to use the self-service kiosk. Wouldn’t you know it, the kiosk did not recognize me or any form of identification I provided. After the Customer Service Representative assisted me, it was 6:16 am. Only 29 minutes remained before my flight departed.

NO SHORTCUTS

I got in line. Contrary to Willie’s assertion and my wishful thinking the lines were not short. The lines were very long. It’s amazing how when you are in a hurry everyone around you seems to move intentionally slower – almost like Neo dodging bullets in the Matrix.

Now 6:23 am and I was still in line. Twenty two minutes remained before the flight departed. In the voice of Glum, I heard my intrusive thoughts say “you’re never going to make it“. And just as I was ready to resign myself that I had failed to catch my flight, TSA opened two additional ID screening lines.

Now 6:26 am the lines were moving faster but I worried that it might not be fast enough. Glum was talking to me louder than ever. Only nineteen minutes remain. Laptop out, shoes off, small liquids in bag…you know the routine.

OKAY JESSE I HEAR YOU

Despite what Glum was telling me, there was still a chance. No doubt the odds were slim but to coin Jesse Jackson “I kept hope alive“.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I made it through screening but it took seven more minutes. Now 6:33 am, Glum and the intrusive thoughts were back with a vengeance. The doubt was louder than ever. Jesse and all his hope had been silenced. All I could hear was “Well you missed this flight“, “How much is it going to cost you to change flights?“, “You should have gotten up sooner“, “you should have taken a cab or Uber“…

Trying to be respectful of the other passengers, I moved quickly but courteously as I worked to get my belongings off the conveyor belt. Excuse me. Thank you. Pardon me.

With my bags finally restored to their pre-screening state, I slipped on my Nike shoes and started running toward gate 22. Gate 1, gate 5, gate 9 and then there was the foreboding announcement “passengers must be prepared to board the flight 20 minutes prior to departure or else…“. Oh expletives!

KEEP ON MOVING

Glum was blaring despair between my ears but I heard Jesse’s gentle whisper imploring me to “keep hope alive” while simultaneously in the background Soul II Soul sung Keep On Moving. So I kept running with bags in tow.

Gate 11, gate 15, gate 19, gate 21. Almost there. Please gate, pretty please be open. Yes, gate 22 was still open! Breathing and sweating profusely as if I had just done 60 minutes on the elliptical, I had arrived in time.

The representative looked at me and said with a big welcoming smile “we were waiting for you”. She checked my ticket and I boarded the plane.

FINAL CALL

As I walked to my seat, it was clear that many of the other passengers were none too happy with me. There were plenty of scowls and rolling eyes. It was like I had the Plague or worse Ebola.

Why all the dreadful and vicious stares? Remember that foreboding announcement? Well it turns out that the gate was supposed to close 20 minutes before departure.

I arrived at 6:39 am, well after the 20 minute gate closing requirement. Thus, the other passengers had been sitting on the plane for at least 14 minutes. The other passengers were not only were ready to go but they were unhappy about having to wait until the scheduled departure time.

NO SNAKES BUT NATE’S ON THE PLANE

Fortunately, the Customer Service Representative treated me like Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick – 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes Nate Turner you’re on. Besides making my flight, being able to get out of a refrigerated Buffalo and avoiding the time and expense of a rescheduled flight, I learned a number of things that I believe can and should be shared with children:

Sometimes Things Don’t Go As Planned – Plan and try as we might, sometimes things just don’t go the way we intended. We must not get discouraged when plans have to be readjusted. Instead, we must recognize this as a part of life’s process.
Keep Hope Alive – When things seem dire this is the most important time to remain hopeful. There is never a chance for success when we give up on hope.
Stay On Course – Despite unexpected obstacles and arduous hurdles we mustn’t give up on our destination. Even if we arrive late, being late is almost always preferable than never arriving at all.
Go Fast But Don’t Panic – Move as quickly as you can to your intended destination but never freak out if you find yourself off schedule. When we rush we forget important things including our manners and our plan for success.
Struggle Equals Progress – If it’s truly important be willing to perspire for it. The most valuable yet underappreciated currency in the world is sweat equity. If you really want it be willing to struggle to the death for it.
Leave No Stone Unturned – Just do your part. Do ALL that you are capable of doing to reach your destination. On occasion even when you are distressed, the universe will smile on you and reward you for giving your all and going as far as you can possibly go.

FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT

As I took my seat and fastened my seatbelt, I was unusually grateful for just being on the plane. It didn’t matter if I was sitting in first class, business class, coach or in the Jumpseat. All that mattered was that I was on the plane. I was going to reach the same destination at the same time as everyone else, no matter where I sat. How good is that!

Coincidentally, I was sitting in coach near the exit door. Not sure if that was unintended or the devious plan of the angry passengers who might have wanted to toss me from the plane. Whatever the reason for my seat, I am convinced that in life – like my trip from Buffalo – the most important thing is giving your all to make the journey.

Whether you arrive having sat in first class, business class, coach or the Jumpseat is irrelevant. Whether you get on the plane first or last is immaterial. In order for you to proceed in your journey, you simply have to give your all to get on the plane.

Do your children understand that arriving or finishing first are not the only things that matter? Have you explained to your children that life’s process includes surviving and advancing?