How To Prepare A Child to Handle Trouble

No matter how attentive you are as a parent, no matter how determined you are to prepare your child for all life’s ups and downs, there is simply no way to avoid trouble. Try as you might. Prepare to the best of your ability but getting into trouble, experiencing something troubling or finding something or someone troubling is as much a part of the human experience as breathing.

Every child no matter their gender, race, educational standing or socio-economic background will have to deal with trouble – misfortune, stress, anxiety… numerous times throughout their childhood. Although, trouble is inevitable, the way children handle trouble can vary. It’s up to you!

Preparing For Trouble

Rather than trying to dodge the inescapable, shrewd parents will make sure that their child is equipped to handle trouble. Here’s a little secret between friends. The methodology for handling trouble is the same for adults and children.

If you have a good method for dealing with trouble, you should make sure that your child knows what you know. We don’t do our children any favor by attempting to shield them from disappointment, misfortune, frustration and the like. Just like taxes and death, troubles will come.

In the unlikely event you don’t have a good method for dealing with trouble, I have a three-pronged strategy I would like to share with you.

1. There Is a U in Trouble – Everyone has heard the expression “there is no ‘I’ in team”. Now is the time to introduce your child to the idiom “there is a ‘U’ in trouble”. Even if this is your first time hearing the expression, it is an expression that you have intuitively always known to be true.

No one is exempt from trouble and I do mean no one. We all have experienced a trouble and/or have been in trouble a time or two. Make sure your child understands this phrase and doesn’t believe that you expect them to be perfect. Say this out loud with them ten times. “I’ve been in trouble”. “You’ve been in trouble”. “We’ve all been in trouble”. “We will both experience trouble again”.

The issue is not if we will ever know trouble, the question is whether we will be adequately prepared to handle it. Making sure your child knows that “there is a “U” in trouble” is the first step to equipping them to handle one of life’s inevitable occurrences – trouble.

2. Troubles Don’t Last – A second idiom to share is “troubles don’t last”. This phrase carries a particular degree of weight with children. Children often hide trouble, fail to ask for help, complicate something that could easily be resolved because they fear whatever has gone wrong will last throughout eternity. You remember that childhood feeling; even when things blow over, parents will never get beyond the error.

This is precisely why children must be reminded that while we might be disappointed if they do something troubling, we will not abandon them nor hold it over their head like a 1,000 pound anvil. As the gospel lyrics state “troubles don’t last always”. Go ahead (click the link) and sing it with me.

Compassionate parents never turn their back on their children. The benefits of knowing that you can always count on your parent has immeasurable value. Some of us to this very day remain stagnated by the childhood angst associated with disappointing our parents. The concerns over getting into trouble kept many of us as children and now as adults from ever attempting to actualize our dreams and realize our potential.

Children who are raised by parents who abide by this empathetic philosophy are more likely to raise and watch their children “swing for the proverbial fences”.

Children who respect but don’t fear trouble, misfortune, disappoint, etc. grow up to be the adults who change and improve the world.

3. Troubles Are Relative – This phrase could just as easily have read “Relatives are trouble”. Both phrase contain the same three words and they are both equally true. Yet, relatives who are trouble is a discussion for another time. For now, simply make sure that your child understands that troubles are relative. In other words, troubles are not necessarily comparable. A big deal to one person may be insignificant to another. A small disappointment to one might be calamitous to another.

How we view and measure our trouble matters but knowing the process to resolve a trouble is what matters most. Big or small, significant or insignificant, brief or persistent – the process to resolve a trouble is always the same.

Admission – Admit that there is a pink elephant in the room – poor grades, friendship gone awry, or a goal unrealized. Don’t run, don’t hide; look trouble squarely in the eye. You can try to ignore the pink elephant but it won’t leave the room unless you move it.
Build – Develop a plan to overcome what troubles you. Research what others who have been similarly challenged have done. Knowing you aren’t alone fosters the belief that you can similarly remove the trouble and/or champion your cause. Imitation is not only the best form of flattery, imitation is also an effective and efficient way to overcome trouble.
Commit – As soon as you discover what others have done when in trouble, take and apply the best, most useful solutions. Work your trouble resolving plan without exception or excuse. Persistence, passion and perspiration beats trouble nearly every time.
Discontinue – Don’t stop until the trouble is gone. Overcoming trouble – like life itself – is a journey. The key element is to keep moving forward. Troubles often last simply because we never move or we stop moving too soon. Remember that there is no destination that can be reached, no trouble that can be resolved by sitting still, doing nothing or quitting.

Are you raising a child who will be equipped to handle trouble or are you raising a child who will find themselves stuck in life’s proverbial journey through quicksand – unable to move, no idea how to get out, afraid to call for help, and sinking slowly but surely?

Trouble is on its way if it hasn’t arrived already. Will your child be prepared? Are you prepared?