The phrase “Grin and Bear It” is an expression that every parent should become well acquainted. “Grin and Bear It” can be described as an ability to accept something bad – something not all that enjoyable – without complaining. This is not only a great rule for interacting with children, this idiom has unlimited applications for other areas of our lives.
Being able to “Grin and Bear It” takes practice and requires unparalleled commitment. Very few of us are born masters of this expression. In fact, “Grin and Bear It” feels counterintuitive to being a good parent. The phrase feels unnatural because of the common misconception that parenting is exclusively about laying down “the rules and regulations”. While providing a child with structure (rules and regulations) is unquestionably necessary – there is so much more to parenting.
And while we are discussing structure, it must be mentioned that parents need structure also. Learning to “Grin and Bear It” is part of the structure of good parenting.
Universal Grin and Bear It
This week, I have been reacquainted – over and over again, I might add – with the importance of being able to “Grin and Bear It”. After contemplating how to work in a warmer climate and combine work with a little play, my son and I packed our bags to leave the frozen tundra of Indiana and we headed for the sunny skies of Florida. During our time in Florida, we had the good fortune of being able to spend a few days at the Universal Orlando Resort.
Whenever we had a free, non-working moment, my son suggested that we go to one or both of the two theme parks – Universal Studios Florida and Universal’s Islands of Adventure. The theme parks which are best known as a place of excitement and amusement for children are actually training grounds for parents to learn how to “Grin and Bear It”. At Universal Orlando, I was reminded that parental directives like “walk – don’t run”, “say excuse me”, “not right now” and “we can ride it again later” are nothing more than gasps of hot air being dispersed from a parent’s mouth.
Don’t Waste Your Breath
Parental directives are mostly useless in an amusement park. Actually, there is little structure for a child in an amusement park other than having as much fun as possible – that is until the children are totally exasperated from miles of walking and the excessive consumption of all the sugary and carbohydrate loaded food they can get their hands on. At which point, there will be a tired and cranky child accompanied be a tired and cranky parent. Is it nap time yet? Such is the structure free routine for parents in an amusement park.
Parents from all over the world arrived at the amusement parks to “Grin and Bear It” for their children’s sakes. Parents walked all day when we would have preferred to be laying by the pool. Parents boarded nauseating rides despite the knowledge that we get motion sickness from simply getting in and out of bed too quickly. Parents suffered through long lines and massive human traffic congestion just so that our children could take a picture with their favorite cartoon character. Parents shelled out ridiculous sums of money and ran-up their MasterCard balances just to give their children unforgettable “priceless” memories.
Just Grin and Bear It
Being able to “Grin and Bear It” is rule number one for any parent taking their child to an amusement park. Being willing to “Grin and Bear It” is also an essential tool that parent’s should keep handy at all times.
A prerequisite of raising independent children who are capable of making good decisions is to on occasion “Grin and Bear It” and allow our children make their own decisions. “Grin and Bear It” means letting your child try things their way as long as they won’t be physically or emotionally harmed by the result and making certain that you are present and accountable to lend a helping hand should things go wrong.
I Am A Witness
For four days, I witnessed other parents and even participated to a lesser extent in this exact behavior. I acted contrary to what parents know to be in our best interest – things such as walking and not running and eating fruits and vegetables and not sugary and carb loaded snacks. Like all the other parents in the amusement parks, I too was willing to “Grin and Bear It”.
The parents seemed to have made a pact to be complicit, as our presence in the amusement park inferred that we had all pretty much exclusively agreed to do things the way our children wanted to do them – at least for a few hours. Parents in the amusement park must have recognized that what adults often consider to be exhausting and trivial can be enjoyable and valuable to a child, crucial to a child’s self-development and can provide a child with positive long-lasting memories. So for this reason, parent’s consciously and subconsciously made the decision to “Grin and Bear It”.
Thank goodness parenting does not require us to “Grin and Bear It” all the time. I can’t tell you sufficiently enough how nauseas I feel, how much my feet hurt and how sick to my stomach I am. Next time, it will be sun, sand, palm trees and ocean for me. If my son wants to travel with me, he’ll just have to “Grin and Bear It”.
What do you think? How often have you been willing to “Grin and Bear It”? Share your thoughts below!