Why Children Should Be Raised To Be Independent Thinkers

Almost daily, we read, hear or witness events that would have turned out considerably different if there were more children who were encouraged to be independent thinkers. From children being bullied in the classroom to the despicable behavior of those we elect as public officials in Congress, too many people seem unwilling to think for themselves – doing the requisite research so that they may reach a sound, reasonable and just decision.

Give Us, Us Free

Unfortunately, most parents are more concerned with their children “getting along” rather than “getting it right”. This reckless compliant philosophy has created a generation of children and parents who are irrefutably caged in a mental prison without having the slightest clue about just how confined they truly are.

Children who are not encouraged, instructed and taught to be independent thinkers are children who will grow up to be imprisoned adults and remain as they were when they were children – unaware that they are yet free. Children who are not encouraged, instructed and taught to be independent thinkers are children who will grow up to be adults who find it acceptable to rob other human beings of their humanity, dignity, life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

History tells the long, sad and sullied story about the outcomes when and where the kids who grow to become adults are not encouraged, directed and taught to be independent thinkers.

Because I Said So

Often times, the precursor to unknowingly raising children who are followers – inhibited and dependent thinkers – is the age-old parenting expression “because I said so”. In case you use the expression, you should know that “because I said so” is short for:

• I don’t know the answer myself;
• I don’t want you to know that I don’t know the answer;
• I don’t want to embarrass myself for telling you to do something that I can’t explain;
• I don’t want to have to think of something logical;
• I just want you to do what I said no matter how stupid it is;
• I’m too lazy to research the situation and provide some useful direction;
• I’m too dumb to recognize that if I don’t give you an honest and responsible answer that you are likely to get the answer from someone outside of our home;
• Etc. (pick any other bad option you could imagine)

“Because I said so” will never be a prescription for raising children who will grow up to be independent thinkers. “Because I said so” is not is a pathway to building trusting and honest relationships with your children.

Independent Thinkers Aren’t Minions

http://youtu.be/lnvy1gpZa7M

Over the last couple weeks, I have shared conversations with my son that have made me extremely proud of his ability to think independently. To say that I am proud of him is as obvious as knowing that we all need food and water to survive. Yet, the added gratification from our recent dialogue has been more of a reminder that he is a man – a man who understand and embraces being an independent thinker.

After Thanksgiving dinner, he privately shared his thoughts about the national day of gratitude with me. I won’t attempt to chronicle everything that was shared but I believe several things he expressed are worth sharing and contemplating – that’s if you are a fan of independent thinkers.

• If tomorrow is not promised, why do we wait until the fourth Thursday in November to express our affection for and gratitude to family?
• Thanksgiving gives little consideration to those with poor to terrible family relationships such as abused children, battered wives and the like.
• Thanksgiving makes life appear bleaker for those who are not a member of a Norman Rockwell type family like orphans, widows, foster children and the homeless.
• Thanksgiving is an emotionally difficult time particularly in the case of those who are still grieving the passing of a loved one – it’s at least a 24 hour reminder of their pain and agony.
• The celebration of Thanksgiving ignores its historical origin – the day America celebrates with great feasts is a Day of Mourning for the Wampanoag and other indigenous people.
• How would African-Americans think and feel if there was a national day of celebration which coincided with the origin of slavery?
• Thanksgiving was the beginning of the end for tens of millions of the indigenous people who inhabited this country.
• Why do American’s think it acceptable to celebrate the extermination and subsequent degradation of the indigenous people of this land we call America?
• How would any racial or ethnic group feel if their historical plight was ignored in favor of turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, football games and nearly 24 hours of non-stop shopping?
• If Thanksgiving and family are synonymous why are so many Americans forced to work on Thanksgiving rather than having the day off to enjoy with their families?

What Say You

What say you? How would you respond to this information? How do you answer his questions?

I don’t know about you but my son reminded me just how important it is for me to know why I do what I do and to remember that doing something just because everyone else does it is not necessarily a good reason.

Now what should we do next year when retailers begin to advertise the pending Thanksgiving season? Do I tell him to come home and do what we have always done “because I said so”?

Do I continue to do what the majority do – gorge, drink, watch football and shop – because it is the same robotic thing my parents raised me to do? Or do I simply embrace having raised a man who could think for himself and then sit back and relax because I know he will develop a well researched plan of action to do something next year which he believes is both responsible and respectful to all the overlooked Americans especially the Wampanoag?