Unless you have been living under a rock the past day and a half, you have undoubtedly heard about the Miami Dolphins bullying incident. For those who have actually been living under a rock, the abbreviated backdrop is that the bullying incident didn’t occur at a Miami elementary or high school rather it occurred at place where adults work. It pains me but I have to say it, the role models have once again misbehaved – more accurately – the adults have again behaved like poorly trained children.
Too Big To Be Bullied
Apparently for more than a year Miami Dolphins Offensive Tackle Johnathan Martin who is 6 foot 5 inches and weighs over 300 pounds has been the victim of bullying – threats, intimidation and harassment. The alleged bully was his 6 foot 3 inch and 319 pound teammate, Richie Incognito.
On the surface it would appear to some that Johnathan was too big to be bullied. However, bullying has about as much to do with the size of the victim as do the limits by which one can be misinformed. Ignorance for some is truly bliss and the witlessness surrounding this situation seems to have no end.
Assumptions and opinions abound about how Johnathan should have just fought back, taken the bullying like a man, not quit on the team, kept his mouth shut, etc.
Some have even gone so far as to make Johnathan appear to be a coward and mentally ill. Others have questioned Johnathan’s sexuality – trying to emasculate his character because he chose to be non-violent like Jesus, Gandhi and Dr. King.
Still others have suggested that the catalyst for all the attention being paid on the Miami Dolphin’s bullying incident is not Richie Incognito but instead Johnathan Martin. Frankly, all these perspectives are not only flawed but they are all hypocritical and exceptionally primitive.
Miami Dolphins Bullying Incident Could Be Your Child
Johnathan Martin did the right thing by leaving the Miami Dolphins. Don’t parents instruct their children if they believe or when they are certain that they are being threatened at school to remove themselves from the situation and report the incident to the authorities?
This is precisely what Johnathan Martin did. If removing and reporting is the correct process for our children, isn’t it the correct action for Mr. & Mrs. Martin’s son, Johnathan Martin?
Johnathan Martin was subjected to behavior that every parent objects to when it occurs to their child but not nearly enough parents object to when it occurs to the child of another parent. This self-serving parenting style perpetuates a growing level of incivility and intolerance that we find common in society today. Look no further than the Miami Dolphins locker-room.
The result of self-serving parenting is the bad manners epidemic that inspires grown men to behave like the parents who raised them – knowingly and willingly turning a blind eye when others are being intimidated, threaten and/or harassed. Instead of supporting Johnathan Martin and putting an end to the boorish, archaic, juvenile behavior, the grown children in the Miami Dolphins locker room – who were likely raised by self-serving, hypocritical parents – did nothing while their so-called “brother” and teammate suffered. To add insult to Johnathan’s emotional injury is that Johnathan’s unconsciously co-conspirator teammates remain totally unaware that they are complicit in Richie’s unwelcome behavior.
In the end, Johnathan Martin was asked to do what so many perpetrators try to convince bullying victims to do – keep the bullying activities a secret so that the “Good Ole” times can continue. Yet, for people like Johnathan Martin there are few good times when being bullied or hazed.
All Johnathan Martin wanted to do was go to work each day and carry himself as the man his parents raised him to be. Unfortunately for Johnathan, it would appear that not enough of his teammates enjoyed the same conscientious and respectful upbringing.
Keep On Moving
The Miami Dolphins bullying incident is a clear reminder that there is much work to be done if humanity is ever going to reach its full potential. I realize that this next statement may be difficult for many to comprehend particularly by those who play a sport linked with innumerable brain injuries but “humanity is expected to evolve – grow and advance”.
Just because things were once done doesn’t mean they should continue to occur. American slavery, Women’s Suffrage, Jewish persecution and other heinous behaviors were all at one time considered standard operating procedure but I am certain none of those traditions would be welcomed by the historical victims today. Likewise, if we eliminate the traditions of bullying and hazing the world won’t come to an end. Just the opposite! As occurred when slavery was abolished, women were treated as equals and Jewish persecution ended, the world will improve.
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Let’s not waste the opportunity this sad incident affords us to strive to be better today than we were yesterday. Moreover, let’s plan right now to be better tomorrow than we are today. These two reminders should be our mantra moving forward each and every day.
If we would commit to being better today than we were yesterday and being better tomorrow than we are today, we would never raise children who would have an interest in nor the time to spend bullying another human being. If we raised children who simply understood their responsibility to be better citizens, Mr. & Mrs. Martin’s child would never had to endure the despicable actions of Mr. & Mrs. Incognito’s child and his Miami Dolphins teammates.
If we don’t do better today, tomorrow’s Johnathan Martin may very well be your son or daughter. Today it is bullying, tomorrow it could be something far worse.
Does your child understand what bullying is? Are you modeling bullying at home?
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