Traveling to, through domestic and international airports over the last day and a half has assured me that rude behavior is everywhere. Children everywhere today are lacking a few simple but essentials skills that might make all the difference in the world for them. The skills our children learn today might not only make other adults look forward to seeing them but it might give them a leg up on the competition when the time arrives to apply for college and employment.
Please
James Brown sang about it – Please, please, please.
Sadly, the children today appear to have more familiarity with the Godfather of Soul than they do the main phrase of his song – “please”. Regrettably, when confronted with some of today’s children like James many adults are also singing “please, please, please”. But unlike the Godfather we aren’t begging for the children to stay. Absolutely not! We are begging and pleading for these rude behaving children who seem to be everywhere to just go away and to do so immediately.
Relax! When I say that there are many children today who don’t understand the value of the word “please” – of course – I’m not talking about your exceptionally well behaved little prince or princess. (If you could see me, you could see me winking at you.) I’m talking about all the other children who are not raised by you. (Right, wink, wink)
The fact is that rude behavior is everywhere. Sadly, many of today’s children have not been taught the importance of the small courtesies. Instead they have an all-out expectation that whatever they want, no matter when they want it, it should be delivered post haste. And as if their expectations were not outlandish enough, they expect this form of immediate reverence to be adhered to by any and all who share their space without ever once having to say the word “please”.
Thank You
Don’t even get me started on the absence of thank you. There was once a time when please and thank you went together like peanut butter and jelly but not any more. Rude behavior is everywhere!
Thank you has been replaced with a peculiar look as if you have a couple horns growing out of the top of your head. I’m sure that you have experienced this scenario. It normally occurs when you enter an establishment to purchase some good or service. After you make payment, the youthful employee simply looks at you after they hand you the receipt – like you have horns growing from your head.
If you are like me, you were probably expecting a thank you for making a purchase. You were probably expecting some minimal form of gratitude since the purchase you made adds to their employer’s income which enables the employer to keep the youthful employee employed. Alas, it appears that not only has the young employee missed the etiquette instruction on the importance of “thank you” but it appears that they have also missed the class on business decorum & customer service 101.
I have come to the conclusion when experiencing this all too common occurrence that expecting a “thank you” is about as probable as hearing the words “please”. I must have missed the memo that I should appreciate just being able to live on the same planet with the youth of today.
Age Appropriate Greeting
Once upon a time in a land far far away, children were raised with a philosophy known as “respect your elders”. This obviously out dated, useless ideology which once conferred upon adults a certain reverence for having lived life longer, for paving the way for the opportunities the youth experience and for simply appreciating the value in merely showing honor to your elders has been replaced with “wassup dude”, “what can I get you man” and “here you go guy”.
Wassup is right. Wassup with the children? Dude and guy, are you kidding me. I’m a man. Actually, in the non-PG words of Cedric the Entertainer, I’m a grown (blank) man.
While I never served in the military, I do believe the military gets it correct when they instruct their young men and women to embrace the words “yes/no sir” and “yes/no ma’am”. I never called any of my elders, dude, guy or man and I never will. I still refer to my elders as ma’am and sir. Now that I’m an elder I don’t expect to be called “dude”, “man”, “guy” or any other marginalized name and especially not by a child.
Why
Now to the why. Why is rude behavior everywhere? Why don’t today’s children say please, thank you and yes sir? You guessed it. It always begins and ends the same way – with parenting. Parents we have messed things up once again.
The common courtesies that were ingrained into your existence and done so occassionally with the assistance of the grain of rawhide against your backside have been subtlety eroded. Those old school lessons have deteriorated as we continuously forget the significance of mentoring our children.
Think I’m being harsh. Think my perspective is outrageous. Well consider how parents have behaved since the invention of email and texting. I am of the opinion that these two technological marvels have mysteriously eroded common courtesies.
Think about all the times since the invention and proliferation of texting that you have permitted your child to send someone who either took the time to send them a gift, money or other token of love and affection a text to say thank you. Yes, a stinking text!
Whatever happened to going to the Hallmark store to get a thank you card? Maybe you and your child will get a clue on their next birthday when instead of receiving a toy, clothing, money or some other gift, the disrespected and disillusioned gift giver will wise up and decide to treat you and your child the way you treat them.
How do you think your child will respond, how excited do you expect them to be when on their birthday instead of receiving that thing they have longed for, they receive a text with a pic of the shoes, dress, phone, iPad or other gift they were hoping to receive? How do you expect your child to feel when they receive a text that reads “Merry Christmas, here’s a few dollars for you $$$$$. Don’t spend them all in one place LOL”? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess neither of these scenarios will go over well with your child.
Measure for Measure
Just a quick note, if your child receives a gift teach them the importance of taking the time to do something to show their gratitude. A text or an email are a start but only a start. There is nothing like an old fashioned thank you card that is delivered via the United States Postal Service. If someone thinks enough to spend time and money on your child surely you can teach your child to spend a few dollars on a card and a few minutes addressing and signing the card.
Give Them a Chance
Give your child a huge head start in life over all their peers, teach them these few small things. Teach your children these common courtesies. In the old days, if your child behaved this way, your child would have been seen as just another child. Today, when your child exercises these courtesies, they will be thought to be one of the most well-mannered and polite children around.
Learning and appreciating the value of common courteousness might be the difference between your child receiving the college scholarship and you having to cosign for mortgage sized student loans. Acknowledging and embracing the common courtesies of yesterday might be the difference between your child receiving the favorable job recommendation which sets them on the path to becoming the companies CEO or continuing as the clerk or cashier who refers to the customers as man, dude or guy.
Give your child a chance to be well thought of, give your child the gift of being courteous. Rude behavior doesn’t have to be everywhere.
When was the last time you sent a written thank you note? Are your children learning to address their elders positively or negatively from you?