Day Four: Father – Son Tradition, You Got the Look!
Still feeling a bit tired, I forced myself to get out of bed and get the day started. What’s the point of going somewhere new and laying in the lazy spot all day? Moreover, what’s the point of going to the ocean and only touching the water that runs out of your shower? Talk about a complete waste of time!
If I have to be honest with you, I must admit that laying in the lazy spot would have been okay with me today. But this trip is not solely about me – actually it’s not about me at all. This trip is about creating a tradition for my son and me. This journey is about making memories with Soop that last – forever! So rather than recline in the lazy spot, I chose to follow the Hollywood mantra and get out of bed. Because as they say in Tinsel town – the show must go on.
No We Aren’t Them
As I mentioned briefly, at the conclusion of yesterday’s post, we encountered some very peculiar stares. I’m going to stay positive and assume that the stares we received were those of people looking at and admiring two strapping and handsome men. Or maybe the stares occurred because people were trying to figure out why the good-looking young man was hanging out with the average at best older guy.
Whatever the reason, the experience reminded me that we have a choice in how we interpret and subsequently react to the words or actions of others. To quote my BFAM (Brother From Another Mother) life is about choices. In another time in my life, I might have chosen to see or imagine the worse in others.
More than likely I would have assumed that the fact that there were less than a handful of people who looked like Naeem and I in the hotel, excluding of course the waiters, waitresses, bellhops and doormen meant that those staring were – to put it kindly – wondering how in the world Naeem and I were able to afford the costs associated with staying at the hotel. However, because I am older and wiser – mostly older – I chose to make no assumptions.
Well who am I kidding, I may have made assumptions but I want my son to be better than me – the world needs him to be better than me – so I simply kept my assumptions to myself and chose instead not allow my assumptions to cause me to overreact. I believe it has been said that to assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Rather than thinking negatively, I tried taking the medicine that I have always prescribed for my son – optimism. Allowing my thoughts to turn positive, I assumed that those ogling recognized Supaman and me from The Raising Supaman Project. And like awe-struck fans, they glared at us because they were too nervous to ask us for pictures and autographs.
Lesson learned, the medicine that I had been prescribing to my son actually works. I felt better instantaneously remembering that what you believe and how you interpret things is your choice.
Thanks President Obama
Unless you have been living on the moon, in a cave or traveling by way of the Megabus, you might have missed President Obama’s surprise remarks about the killing of Florida teenager Trayvon Martin and ‘Stand Your Ground’ laws. As one who appreciates any President taking a personal interest in the well-being of ALL children, sharing his personal feelings and taking a firm non-partisan position about how the Nation needs to do a better job to ensure that ALL children get to partake in the things that make America great – life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, I must admit that he made at least one scenario for those interacting with Naeem and I today just a tad awkward.
Wanting not to simply lay around in a hammock all day, lay by the pool, walk along the ocean, enjoy a soothing massage or go for a swim in the ocean (and yes I’m rubbing it in), Naeem and I ventured to the lobby to meet with the concierge. There were several concierge on staff.
One of the concierge, an older woman, noticed us approaching the desk. She had one of those looks on her face that I mentioned previously. However, being a student of Detective Marcus Burnett (played by Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys II), I said a sufficient number of woosahs to prepare me for just about anything. “Woosah Nate, you are in control of your own thoughts and emotions” is what I repeatedly told myself.
As a backdrop to the interaction with the concierge, I think President Obama’s comments might have offended just a few people in South Carolina. As it turns out South Carolina is one of the 26 states that has “Shoot First”, I mean Stand Your Ground Laws. Moreover, South Carolina was the first Southern state to declare its secession from the Federal Union and later formed the Confederacy. For some, in South Carolina the “good old South” is destined to rise again.
So with this as the prelude, the older concierge told me that I looked like I needed help. I replied amusingly or so I thought, “wow I’m going to have to do something about the word help written on my forehead”. If you guessed dead silence, you would have been right. I thought my statement was a pretty good ice breaker but something tells me President Obama’s comments about the coveted Stand Your Ground law and race in America simply sucked the air out of the room.
Noticing the stillness in the air, a second younger concierge jumped in to help her more mature colleague. The younger concierge made a number of suggestions. Unfortunately, none of the suggestions were particularly interesting to us. I explained that we had been to lots of beaches so doing the typical “beach thing” was not what we were looking for. I explained that we desired to do something that could only be done at Hilton Head Island.
I could see the wheels spinning in her head. There was something she wanted to suggest but she was hesitant. I surmise President Obama’s extemporaneous speech had made her and the older concierge a bit apprehensive. With almost a whisper she said “there is the Gullah museum and several plantations that you might find interesting”. Naeem and I simultaneously said “cool, then we will do that”. Before, she could put the map to the museum and plantation in Naeem’s hand, “she said don’t worry about the plantation, there isn’t really a lot going on there these days”. I replied, “That’s good to hear or it might not be a good time for us to visit”. And the air was sucked from the room once more.
We departed her presence and thanked her for her assistance. The older concierge simply continued as she had done initially – admired us without asking for our autographs or picture. The whole scene was comical to me and sad. I apologize if you find it hard to follow along as I’m not sure my words can do the entire experience justice.
Regrettably, our country still has real issues with race, ethnicity and skin color. The younger concierge was hesitant about mentioning the plantation because she made assumption like I made earlier. Naeem and I nearly missed seeing something that was of interest because the concierge was afraid that the recommendations she would make to any other visitor would be offensive to me. Actually, I was only offended by not being provided with the same information.
These assumptions and fears surrounding race remains a huge problem. We have to resolve those issues if any of us especially our children are going to have the chance to truly experience life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in the fullest extent possible.
Is that It?
Per the younger concierge’s recommendation, Naeem and I were encouraged to visit the Harbour Town Marina and Lighthouse in Sea Pines. The drive to the Sea Pines community and the drive through the community took longer than the time we spent touring the community. The area was like any other coastal hot spot filled with restaurants, bars, live music, souvenir shops and the like. There was nothing eye-opening except maybe three things.
First, there was an entry fee that was required for each non-resident that entered the neighborhood. Furthermore, each non-resident was required to leave the community by sundown. Talk about exclusivity.
Second, there was the irony of the exclusivity of the Sea Pines community on Hilton Head Island. The land was taken from “Native Americans” like the Woodland Indians. The great plantations were developed and sustained by the free labor of enslaved Africans. And now with rare exception, neither of the two aforementioned groups can afford the $2 million dollar fee associated with purchasing a single plot of land.
Finally, there was a small plaque in the Lighthouse that told the story of Hilton Head Island. I believe the plaque might have given further explanation about the meaning of those looks Naeem and I received. Hilton Head Island was developed for the “privileged few”.
Back to a Lazy Spot
Overall, not a terribly busy day but enough stuff to leave one emotionally spent. Seeing plantations where my ancestors toiled the land and suffered great human loss, recognizing that complete nations of American Indians were wiped from the face of the earth and witnessing the precise spot where the Federal Union launched its first naval attack against the Confederacy was enough sightseeing for the both of us.
Sometimes laying on the beach and being naïve is easier than dealing with the uncomfortable truth. America has come a long way but we still have quite a way to go. Fortunately for those of us able to read these words, we have the opportunity to be a part of the citizenship that makes sure ALL Americans have an opportunity to be the living embodiment of what the American dream should be – a chance at life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
But for the moment, I’m just going to enjoy the reality that not much is going on at the plantations and chill with my son in a lazy spot.
What thoughts do you share with your child about the state of race relations in America? How do you manage your assumptions and perceptions about others?