Yesterday after having a not particularly great morning practice, I had a discussion with my only, yet favorite, son. Why would you care that I had a conversation with my son? Well you might care if you knew that the foundation of our conversation would be valuable to you individually and/or as a parent. So without further ado here is today’s post without the technical or tactical aspects of soccer.
Everything Will Be Alright In the End
If you have not seen the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, I highly recommend that you rent it. In the movie there is a great quote that I often find myself citing or applying to some real life situation. The quote is “In India we have a saying, ‘Everything will be alright in the end’… so if it’s not alright, it is not yet the end.”
When Sonny, the hotel’s manager, first utters those words, he does so in an attempt to convince one of the dissatisfied guests to stay at the hotel. The guest was ready to leave because the hotel was – to put it mildly – nothing like the hotel advertised in the brochures.
Yesterday, when I spoke those words to my son, I did so not to convince him to stay in a dilapidated hotel but to remind him that his bad morning practice was just that one bad practice. One disappointing practice, one frustrating day, one mediocre week, one substandard month or one inferior year does not mean that when all is said and done his career will have been a disappointment.
Although he is just seventeen and part of a microwave, immediate gratification, society, I still try to prepare him to know and understand what far too many adults, including myself from time to time forget. Everything will be alright in the end…so if it’s not alright, it is not yet the end. My son needed to be reminded that until the end arrives, which as best as I know does not happen until we die – each and every one of us continues to have the time and the opportunity to make everything we consider unpleasant…alright.
During our conversation, in addition to providing him with the encouraging words from the visionary optimistic hotel manager, Sonny, I shared with him some words from the man who was once thought to have all the answers. I said “son relax, keep your head up because in the words of Allen “The Answer” Iverson, ‘we talking about practice man, not the game…practice’”.
I’m From Missouri…Well Not Really
Sometimes simply sharing a quote is not enough to change someone’s outlook. Often times, the person you are trying to encourage is, like my son, from Missouri. No my son is not actually from Missouri. His DNA suggests that he is from somewhere in Africa. Exactly where in Africa, I don’t know but that’s a discussion for another time.
Being from Missouri is an expression. You know Missouri, the Show Me State. Forget it! Let’s pretend that I never mentioned Missouri.
Dow 15,000
Ironically, there was something extraordinary occurring at the time of our conversation yesterday so I was able to use that historic event in addition to Sonny’s quote to attempt to lift my son’s spirits. I asked my son did he remember the dates October 9, 2007 or March 6, 2009. Of course, I knew he wouldn’t. Those dates held no significance to him but for me they are forever ingrained in my memory.
Many of you know that on Tuesday, October 9, 2007, The Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) hit what was at that time in history a record high of 14,164.53. Americans in general were ecstatic. We were spending money as if there was an infinite supply (kind of like we use oil). We were investing our hard-earned dollars only in the “can’t miss” “too-big to fail” companies. Up until that fateful day, life for countless Americans was better than many of us could have ever imagined in our wildest dreams.
Eighteen short months later, on Friday, March 6, 2009 we awoke to the most frightening reality. The DJIA had lost 54% of its value and fallen to a low of 6,443.27. This was more than a bad morning practice. If America had been an athlete this would have been a career ending injury.
Americans were not watching a bad morning practice, we were witnessing the bottom fall out of the market. Americans were not feeling bad because our team had just lost a game, we were feeling absolutely hopeless like nothing could or would ever be alright. This was real misery.
Yet on Friday, May 3, 2013, while I was talking to my son, the DJIA surpassed 15,000 for the first time in history. Fifteen thousand! An unbelievable number given the wretched state of the market only a few years prior. From 6,443.27 to 15,000 in four short years. An increase of 8,556.73.
I didn’t ask my son if he agreed or understood what I was trying to convey. I just assumed that he understood that Sonny was correct. The market’s new record high and the fact that he was still living having just completed a bad morning “practice” were proof – “Everything will be alright in the end’… so if it’s not alright, it is not yet the end.”
What Comes Down Can Go Up
My son like so many of us is a hard one to convince. He understood what I was trying to convey but his disposition was unchanged. Still mopping, I shared with him a song I remembered from the early days of my life.
In 1969 the band Blood, Sweat & Tears recorded the song, “Spinning Wheel“. The song was a huge hit. It was number two on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and it received numerous Grammy Award nominations.
As I was talking to my son, it was as if “Spinning Wheel” – one of the few non R&B songs that crossed over during my youth – was the soundtrack to our conversation. Don’t be bashful feel free to Sing it with me:
- What goes up must come down
- Spinnin’ wheel got to go ’round
- Talkin’ ’bout your troubles it’s a cryin’ sin
- Ride a painted pony let the spinnin’ wheel spin
That felt good didn’t it. Nothing like singing one of those good ole songs from yesteryear. Now for those of you who are unfamiliar with the song, I will admit that at first glance the lyrics might read like words composed by some free love, drug using songwriter from the late 60s and early 70s. But trust me, the lyrics are so much more.
The “Spinning Wheel” lyrics were reinforcement that Sonny’s quote and the Dow’s new high were not aberrations. The lyrics were an additional reminder that we should remain optimistic even when things seem bleak. With the song as the soundtrack playing in my mind, I was able to share with my son through song – when things go down like the market, like the spinning wheel they eventually have to go back up. The song was correct, life is a spinning wheel which has to go round and round.
As I continued to share my perspective on the market, I related for him how there have been a lot of horrendous days in the growth and expansion of the market since March 6, 2009 to May 3, 2013. Likewise, his development as a soccer player and more importantly his growth as a man will have peaks and valleys similar to the Dow. The peaks and valleys are what Blood, Sweat & Tears wrote about – life’s tortuous spinning wheel – a part of life’s process that we all have to experience.
As a financial services professional for over twenty years, I told him that my experience has been that no matter how good things are going, the market will drop. When the market drops a rebound will follow. When there is a market high subsequent to that market high there will be a market correction. In other words, his experiences in the morning practice were not an unlucky exception. What Blood, Sweat & Tears wrote and sang is true for all of us “what goes up must come down, spinning wheel got to go round”.
IF
My son is truly a stubborn one. So, I shared with him one last thing. I shared the word IF. Not quite as insightful as Rudyard Kipling’s poem but something meaningful nonetheless. I told him that IF he can remember Sonny’s words, IF he remembers how the Dow climbed to 15,000 and IF he to a lesser extent he remembers Allen’s words about practice, he WILL have the life he desires. IF he can remember to keep his emotions even through the good and bad, he WILL have the life he desires. I assured him that my version of IF coupled with Mr. Kipling’s legendary poem would not only help him get through the afternoon practice but it would allow him to maintain a life-long renewed spirit.
Finally, I reminded him that people generally make the worse decisions, financial errors included when they do or don’t, buy or sell based on emotions. Don’t let any practice, any day, any game, any season or any moment in life now or in the future get you feeling too high or especially too low. If you have a bad play, a bad game or a bad day, remember a rebound is sure to follow and a new high is certain. If you have a good play, a good game or a good day, remember a correction is sure to follow. Never forget Life’s spinning wheel goes round and round and like all good wheels and the Dow they always manages to continue moving forward.
Are you functioning as if you believe it’s not the end? Or are you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself while you still have time and opportunity to change your situation?