My Matriarch
Have you ever heard the idiom “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”? It’s sort of an old school proverb. I have a feeling that your answer as to whether or not you are familiar with this expression may depend on your age. I’m not sure how often the expression is used today but I heard it a lot when I was a child.
Regardless of your age or your familiarity with the expression, the intended meaning is plain and simple. Men are such the primal gender that a prospective lover only needs to cook for them and they will fall in love. The better the cook, the sooner and deeper a man will fall head over heels in love.
While I won’t debate the mental or emotional primitive unsophisticated nature of my gender, I would like to stress what I believe is a deeper meaning to the proverb. A deeper meaning which might prove beneficial not only for those seeking to secure a commitment from a prospective lover but more importantly a deeper meaning that might be helpful for your children:
Expression of Love.
I’m not sure this happens as much today as it did when I was a child but families once upon a time set aside at least one day each week when they shared a meal together. Now when I say meal, I’m not referring to something out of a box, something picked-up from the drive through lane or some type of microwaved concoction. I’m talking about a real meal. A meal that was ordinarily prepared by the head matriarch with the assistance of those who were next in line.
The meal generally took several hours to prepare but was done so not as toil and trouble but rather as a labor of love. The meal was not rushed and it consisted of cooking and baking everything “from scratch”.
There was no Stove Top Stuffing, Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, Green Giant canned or frozen vegetables or any other “heat and eat” items that much too often frequent today’s dinner tables. The “from scratch” preparation of the meal to the time and attention spent on each little detail of the meal to the all-natural, healthy living, fresh out of the garden ingredients to the passion integrated into the meal is what would move a man to fall in love.
Back in the day when the matriarchs of my family prepared those Sunday and Holiday meals, I understood just how much I was loved. No one spends the heroic number of hours standing on their feet, in a hot and un-air-conditioned kitchen, peeling and chopping food items, preparing a meal that would be eaten in a small fraction of the time it took to prepare if they were not totally and unquestionably in love.
I’m Talking About Real Love.
I believe the way the matriarchs of my family once prepared meals is the type of cooking that is able to move not only a man but a woman to fall in love – deeply, undeniably in love. Those meals that the matriarchs prepared taught me that cooking for someone you adore regardless of gender – including and especially for your child – is one of the greatest expressions of love one can show.
Anyone can stop at a store or go on line to purchase a gift but only someone who is really truly in love is ever going to spend hours slaving over a hot stove and oven, in a sultry and un-air-conditioned kitchen, peeling and chopping fresh food items that you will consume in but a few minutes. (On a side note, as a member of the more primitive gender who has no statistical evidence to support his belief, I nonetheless believe and have expressed to my son that the more accurate proverb is “the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach”. As such not only will he learn how to cook but I am preparing him to be skilled like the great chefs.)
Teach your children – male or female – how to cook. Teach them – better yet show them that cooking is an all-out expression of love.
No Promises.
I don’t make many promises but this one thing I will assure you. The more often you spend time in the kitchen showing your child how to cook, the better cook you will become and the closer you’re relationship with your child will become. The better cook you become the more sophisticated the meals you will prepare. The more sophisticated and detailed the meals, the sooner your child will know and understand just how special and different the love you have for them is from so many other children.
Make sure your child knows and experiences what the matriarchs shared with me. Only special and intensely loved children are privy to meals painstakingly but lovingly prepared “from scratch“.
(Stay tuned for more upcoming posts about the value and lessons learned from cooking.)
What’s your child’s favorite meal? When was the last time you prepared it for them?
I am so amazed at the way you remember some of the things from the past and you have a way of writing it that is so exciting to read. Nice picture of my mother.
Thanks for taking time to read the blog. It is good to know that at least one person reads it even if that person is my mother 🙂