Has your child ever been injured while playing a sport? Were they forced to miss practice or worse a game? If you answered yes to either or both of the questions, you probably already have an idea about how challenging it can be to lift your child’s spirits.
Children are mini replicas of adults, creatures of instant gratification. Like so many of us, our children want what they want when they want it – immediately. For them national championships, shoe contracts, ESPN commercials and all the trappings of fame and fortune should be delivered instantaneously if not sooner.
Never mind that there are no such things as overnight successes, children expect to be the first overnight success. In fact, children expect today’s success to have been rewarded yesterday.
Children also see everything in extremes. When they lose a race, game or a match they routinely refer to themselves as terrible, the worst athlete on the field and/or the worse athlete of all time. When they are hurt, i.e. sprained ankle, they somehow imagine themselves to be a paraplegic and that all hope of ever competing again is forever lost.
Injuries to us which seem minor cause our children to behave like Glum. If you remember the cartoon Gulliver’s Travels, Glum was the Lilliputian who while having good intentions was consistently pessimistic. Each and every episode, he spoke fear and negativity: “We’ll never make it,” “It’s hopeless”, “We’re done for” and “We’re doomed”.
My Child Is Injured What Can I Do?
Here are five things you can do to keep your child encouraged and that will keep them from becoming the neighborhood Glum:
1. This Too Shall Pass:
Remind your child about other setbacks that they have had in their short life span that they were able to overcome. Keep in mind that your “mini-me”, at times, lacks self-awareness and perspective. As such, they often have an equally difficult time remembering any of the previous good things that have occurred and the successes they have experienced. They need you to be their personal historian or if you will their walking talking YouTube video. With your assistance they will be able to remember how they overcame a similar trial and tribulation.
2. Challenge is Synonymous with Success:
Share your personal challenges that you overcame. The best parents are transparent, vulnerable and authentic. If you can’t be honest with your children who can you be honest with? Encourage your 21st century technology maven to Bing or Google the life experiences of their favorite athlete or hero.
With few exceptions, they will discover that everyone who has succeeded was first challenged. Make sure that they understand that a lack of immediate success is only failure when they give up or stop giving a full effort (mentally, physically and emotionally). Moreover, make sure you inform them that the only place challenge, difficulty, effort, and frustration come before reward, success, trophy and wealth is in the dictionary.
3. Relax:
Unless ESPN, Gatorade, Nike and the like are knocking at the door threatening to postpone their interviews, cancel their contracts or find a new national spokesperson make sure your child takes the time to relax and get healthy. Injuries are exasperated by trying to do too much which includes worrying when your body is not ready to resume activity.
If your child is injured make sure that they accept that they are injured which is the first step to getting healthy. Remind them that to do anything else will surely nullify any opportunities to be interviewed by ESPN, sign the professional contract or be the national spokesperson for Gatorade or Nike.
4. Learn to Coach:
Have them to take the time that they are injured to shadow the coach. This is a perfect opportunity to get a better understanding about what the coach expects of them and the team. This can be an invaluable time to see practice and the game from the eyes of the one who determines if they play, where they play and how long they play. Instead of seeing this as a time to sulk, this just might be an incredible opportunity for your child to gain an invaluable insight about the sport that their teammates and competitors will not have.
5. Mental Reps:
Teach your child to take mental reps. A glass with even a drop of fluid is a glass that is some percentage of full. In short, your child has a choice in how they stay mentally connected to the sport. The mental approach that they take during the time off could be the difference between achieving their hopes and dreams and giving up on the sport altogether.
Encourage them to become a real student of the game by reading books about the technical aspects of the sport, watching game video and by visualizing what their performance will look like once they are health. Never let your children underestimate the value of having the correct psychological and mental approach.
Doing these things won’t guarantee that your child is going to be the next LeBron, Kobe, Michael Phelps, Serena Williams or Marta. However, not doing these things is a sure fire way to guarantee that not only will they have no chance of being the “Next Great One” but they will be forever tagged with the label – “The Neighborhood Glum”.
What do you think? Will you try one of these things the next time your child is injured?